While I was at grocery store the other day, wearing my daughter, on two separate occasions middle-aged women apparently felt an overwhelming desire to assist me with difficult things like... finding items I was already looking at, or unloading groceries from a cart onto the conveyor belt. I felt compelled to express gratitude that I did not feel -- what else could I do?
This was not a unique scenario; random women decided to start "assisting" me a little under two years ago. At first, I thought "what a helpful and friendly bunch of women started shopping here all of a sudden." However, over the months, I've noticed a pattern. Whenever I take Nora to the grocery store with me, I apparently transform into a helpless, pitiable man (or child?), clearly out of his element and in need of a woman's guidance. I know they meant well, but I can't help but feel a little bit insulted. I wrote a haiku to express how I feel about this:
If the task's easy,
Your help is not generous,
But condescending.
Now I'm not sure whether I should avoid offering to carry heavy things for ladies (even though I offer for men, too). Which kind of jerk would I rather risk being seen as -- the condescending patriarchist, or the lazy guy who makes a woman carry everything?
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